Sunday, 12 April 2015

Is Adoption the only way to make someones life?

"Adoption is a legal process which permanently gives parental rights to adoptive parents. Adoption means taking a child into your home as a permanent family member. It means caring for and guiding children through their growing years and giving them the love and understanding they need to develop their full potential"childsworld
Well adoption has two sides.. one from birth parents who decided to give away because they lose hope that they can not meet child's need and their blood is better off with out them. It could be financial reasons, circumstances or illness. In the time of child's birth they are totally helpless and give up on their child.For the child's sake they handed over them to adopted agencies or adopted parents. 
But their is the toughest decision they have to make that is legally they will have no right over their child ever again.
On the other side for adopted parents view they try to build up a child's life whose parents have given up and try to give love, care and support for the child .Their intentions are good .Some adopted parents are those who biological can not have children so they adopt a needy child and give them their name and new life.
Now as a parent my question is , is it fair on child? what if the child's birth parents get chances in future and come out of crisis but they have lost their
rights on their child for ever (though there is some openness to contact them but not legally rights to get them back). Would they dont have pain of losing their blood? Bond with birth child s is unbreakable and feelings, love and emotions can never be changed.
Now third the most important being in adoption is  a CHILD.. what are the effect of adoption on a child who is been adopted.Soon or later they find out that they are been adopted. They suffer from loss and grief,self esteem,confusion in identity development..(link: very painful to face the reality of life.They question themselves why it has to be them.No matter how good life they have been given then too they will be curious about their birth family and relations. They will have the feeling of loss through out their life even they have been supported and understand the reasons of adoption. End of the day they are human and blood bond will remain the same. I am not saying they will not love their adopted parents they will respect them and be grateful to them but their always been a feeling of loss in their heart of been separated from their own family.
I fully agree in fact really appreciate to adopt if the child has lost their parents and become orphan and been adopted. But having birth parents alive and separated them from their family and possibly from siblings as well because their parents have given hope.. I find it a bit mean and sad.. Is there any other way? cant we help them by sponsoring them?  let them learn and grow in their own family?
Their is one more picture of adoption in the air "Adoption from abroad". Reasons are the same but their is a big confusion in  adopted child s life when a child is been adopted from a different region. We have seen western celebrities adopting children from African, or Zambia countries.  I would like to refer from "daily mail" article about Madonna adopting an abroad child.
Celebrities such as Madonna who adopt children from poor countries are doing more harm than good, researchers claimed yesterday.

They said that demand for children from wealthy Westerners means large numbers of families in the developing world are sending their children to orphanages in the hope that they will be adopted abroad.

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The report by a team of psychologists from Liverpool University called for controls to curb international adoptions, stop the "market mechanism" affecting children, and "uphold child rights".

Their view is likely to upset couples in Britain who are trying to adopt children from overseas because of the difficulty of adopting a child in this country.

The study said that adoptions from abroad are too much of a trade and do harm to the children involved.

It said: "This process has been labelled the Madonna effect, so-called after the singer's adoption of a young boy from Zambia in 2006."

Study author Professor Kevin Browne said: "Some argue that international adoption is a solution to the large number of children in institutional care but we have found the opposite is true.
Now from the adopted child s side Would that child gets a normal life when they want to believe that their adopted parents are their parents? and when they go in society play with other children would they be questioned by other children about parents? how would you make little child's mind understand the reality of their  life? 
Is it fair to adopt them or they better off fostering or sponsored? Well readers I leave it to you to decide.